It was a cold night filled with hope and worry. The Pope's health had taken a grave turn. He wasn’t going to Gemelli, his spokesman was nearly in tears at a press conference, all signs pointed that the end was near. Sorrow and confusion filled my head and I saw it in the eyes of my friends. What would the world be like without John Paul II? It boggled the mind. He was such a grace on this earth that I had accepted into my life and relied upon.
Old and dear friends from home happened to be in town and I felt caught between the joy of having loved ones near and the sorrow of a loved one departing. We had gone to Piazza S. Pietro the night before and prayed the rosary, spiritually uniting ourselves with the thousands who were to drift in and out that night. This night we decided to go to the Vigil mass at
The mass ended and we headed into the dimly lit and vivacious streets of Trastevere. At Pizzeria San Calisto we sat down for pizza. As we said grace before the meal we added a Hail Mary at the end for our Holy Father and upon reflection it must have been a little after
We discovered that he had died as we exited the pizzeria, seeing on the television a picture of the pope and the words “È morto” (He is dead). We immediately headed to Piazza S. Pietro, where solemn and hollow bells resonated in the hearts of thousands of people in prayer. We entered the piazza as the Regina Coeli came to a close. Everyone was there, every nation, every state in life was represented. Tears were a common sight. Some people held vigil with candles and blankets, others spoke on cell phones to loved ones, some knelt or stood in prayer, while others just walked about. What a contrast, I thought, to what the piazza was like when he was still alive. When he would come to the window, those in the piazza where drawn to him like a magnet. Everyone was looking in the same direction, there was a leader—visible head of Christ’s church—and it filled the piazza with joy and excitement. How we had lost a father! Now the piazza was filled with a directionless mass, united in sorrow.
We remained in Piazza S. Pietro for a few hours, praying, and speaking with friends whom we bumped into. A choir and priests came to the front of the basilica and a cardinal lead the liturgy of the word for Divine Mercy Sunday. The piazza remained open all night.
In my head this question kept beating: “What will we do with out him, what we will do without him?” The answer came as my thoughts turned to him: every time I had seen him, met him (I had touched his hand and kissed his ring twice), heard him speak, and there I found the answer: we must become “John Paul II”s. He has been telling us since the beginning, “Do not be afraid! Open the doors wide to Christ!”
At the 25th Anniversary Celebration of his Pontificate, he said that his mission had been to be Christ to everyone he met and everywhere he went. How he had fulfilled that mission! We are to become “JPII”s. We are to pick up our cross, charge into the millennium, with no fear, knowing that Our Mother is near us and always trusting in God’s Divine Mercy. We are to become “JPII”s. We are to become saints.
Niall summed up well the sentiments of most of us (wherever we may have been) during this difficult period following the death of Pope John Paul II. Disbelief, shock, confusion and of course sadness are the feelings that still linger in the hearts of those of us who were so much in love with this man. “So what happens now?” We cannot help asking. What do we do when, the one person who just always seemed to be there, is no longer there? George Weigel, who knew the Holy Father well, having interviewed him several times for his book once said, “John Paul II is never living life in the rear-view mirror, he’s always looking forward.” This comment has been playing over and over in my head as I think of how to move forward without the comfort of the Pope’s physical presence. If, as Niall suggests, we are to “become JPII’s”, perhaps this also implies that we can live as he did, looking forward with hope. This “witness to hope” was always thinking about the future. When I think of someone who looks forward, as did the Holy Father, I think of someone who is guided, confident and secure. In this sense, John Paul II has left us with another important lesson for life. It is easy, at least for me, to once and a while live life “in the rear-view mirror,” sometimes holding on to things when what is needed is to let go. As I move on from last week, I have to keep my gaze fixed ahead on the future and take along with me the memories and inspiration of this pope.
ReplyDelete"Those were both really touching sentiments regarding the Holy Father.
ReplyDeleteHere
too, we have all been in a state of sadness, shock and disbelief.
Friday and
Saturday before he died were filled with sorrowful anticipation for the
words that we would remember for the rest of our lives. And Sunday, as
I
sat in the pews of the National Basilica in Washington, DC, listening
to the
homily by the papal nuncio and staring at a portrait of our Holy Father
with
a black cloth draped around it, I too uttered in my mind, "So what
happens
now? What happens to the Church?" And then another question popped
into my
head, "What happens to the youth?" At first it seemed rather odd to me
that
I would think about this. But as I walked through the halls of the JP2
Cultural Center after Mass and saw how almost every picture of the Holy
Father involved children and young people, I realized anew why that
question
came to me.
This great man gave to us, the youth of his reign, an identity. He
became Pope in 1978, towards the end of the Cultural Revolutions, not
only
in America, but in the world. He saw that the only way to save the
Church
was through the young people who were in desperate need of guidance and
direction, especially in moral issues. God picked him to lead his
flock,
and most especially the young sheep, into the 21st Century, through his
writings, definately, but through his love and his example and his
presence.
Who else could have touched the hearts of so many people in so many
countries throughout the world? I remember going to World Youth Day
and
feeling like he was speaking to me personally; telling me "Be Not
Afraid!"
That was his battle cry to us: Be not afraid of what "the world" says.
Be
not afraid to live a good, holy, christian life. Be not afraid to
improve
your relationship with God. Be not afraid of standing up for life and
family.
Today we are called Generation X or Generation Y because the world
tells
us we have no identity. I, however, disagree. We do have an identity!
We
are the JP2 Generation. We are the generation that grew up under one
of the
greatest Popes ever. We now have to live up to our name, by learning
all we
can from this great man and bringing that love of the faith to the
world,
even if it is just in little everyday ways.
I realized that it doesn't matter what happens now in the world. It
only
matters how we choose to carry on the great evangelization begun by our
great leader. John Paul 2 - the youth loves you!"
Kerri P
I read your blog and all i can say is it is a fabulous read. I think we are on opposite sides of the political playing field, but your writing is amazing. The John Paul II post is the best. I loved your passion. Peace.
ReplyDelete